In case you were ever wondering, this is hard. I don’t mean blogging, in fact that part is not too difficult. But this. Running a small business. Working a full time job, balancing the life of wanting to create and be an artist and a free spirit and also being tied to one place that you rely on for sustenance. Not the food kind, but the monetary kind.
Don’t get me wrong, I actually love my job. As a marketing and social media coordinator, I have quite a bit of free time to create designs and express myself that way, and I even write most of the blog posts that my company creates. That was one of the big reasons why I decided to start a blog for Mercurie, because despite the content being all about chiropractic and physical therapy care, I found I genuinely enjoyed writing. I do actually covet my job, as well as the people that are a part of it. Sometimes, the wanting happens. The wanting to be back on a stage, to be back in the arms of my mother, the theater. She has raised me, praised me and taught almost as much as my own mother has.
Other times, I do wish I didn't keep so busy in the theater. Is my theatre career getting in the way of my theatre career? It seems like it contradicts itself, but I’ve been directing so much lately, and putting out art that way, other people’s art, that many of the projects here at Mercurie have needed to get put on hold. I don’t resent this art, please never ever think I dislike the pieces that i have put out, frankly I have never been prouder of the audience reaction to the last three pieces I have directed. I am quite excited to see the audience reaction to the next two pieces I will be putting out into the world, Allison Fradkin’s “ “It Ain’t Over til the Pink Lady Sings”, and Mike Fanelli's “Philosophers at War”. Both shows go up within the month. I try not to promote too much of my other work through Mercurie itself, as I find it rather bold to write a review on a show that I am biased on, but perhaps having the transparency of why Mercurie is moving as slow as she is would be a welcomed change.
I haven’t forgotten my original goal with creating Mercurie: A safe space for conversation, for people to come together to create art and experience it. I want to build careers and reputations for not only myself, but for many. It is this goal that I have to remember and focus on. I had read my tarot cards recently, something that I do when I feel I need a little more guidance. The cards told me that I had misdirected energy, and was ignoring wise advice. I don’t know what the advice was, but I know that I have been feeling pulled in multiple directions with ideas, and half planned out thoughts, the two shows I'm building, my day job, my sweet puppy girl. The cards said Progress will be made by accepting fate and going with the flow. I prayed and decided to drop anything that hasn’t 100% gotten off of its feet, to focus on the things I have right in front of me.
It is important to remember to be grateful. I wouldn't have had the opportunities I have had if it weren’t for my family, my friends, my partner, the education that I was lucky enough to receive. The struggles I had endured, with body image, with past relationships, with self esteem, and with trying to chase a dream with little to no financial backing. So thank you. Thank you for your time reading this, thank you so much for being a part of this and my journey.
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